By Dr. Alison Schmidt, CEO of unconvention
A “modus operandi” (M.O.) is someone’s habitual way of working or otherwise proceeding. As it is Mental Health Awareness month, May is a perfect time to look inward to assess your own mental and emotional health habits and processes, and make any necessary adjustments. (But please, try to do this more than once a year!)
This is also the perfect opportunity to elaborate on topics I wrote about in this blog post, “Isn’t She Embarrassed? Um, Nope!” describing some of my own challenges, and accomplishments related to mental health.
Many people were surprised I was willing to share my story so openly, but within the blog, I only shared part of my story and struggles. School did not come easy to me and social interactions were challenging, including coping with internal stressors as a child. Those stressors made me feel depressed, and I developed a serious case of anxiety. Originally, I did not know what these mental health conditions were, but I knew how I felt.
At the age of 18, things began to make better sense to me when I was diagnosed with a non-specified learning disability. The reason for the non-specified diagnosis was because learning disabilities were not as well defined as they are today. Having the diagnosis also shed some light on why I was feeling depressed and anxious. I was provided written documentation with suggested learning accommodations to help me through my schooling. This documentation would define me from high school through receiving my Ph.D and until my most recent board certification in Coaching. It became my version of Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket.
You can only imagine the relief I felt to finally have a diagnosis that explained what was going on with me. Before getting properly diagnosed, there were assumptions that I was just not applying myself, being lazy or just not engaged to learn. I knew that wasn’t the case, but as a young child/young adult, try explaining or telling that to ‘the grown-ups.’ If anyone noticed, I found ways to deflect.
Once diagnosed, I continued to struggle with HOW to talk about my disability. I was fearful of how I would be perceived and embarrassed about the labels. Across various generations and in certain family dynamics or friend groups, it was highly frowned upon to talk about emotions and especially anything impacting mental health. Since I never truly learned to talk about it, my approach was to NOT talk about it and keep this part of myself hidden. It was my stigma.
I existed and pretended to be “normal” in both my professional career and personal relationships, by utilizing the scope of my accommodation documentation to help me through my degrees and certifications.
It wasn’t until my self-care journey of therapy and coaching (which I describe in detail in my blog post) that I explored the emotional and mental toll this diagnosis had on me. I had neglected it for so long—or, better yet, I had been programmed from an early age to exist with the disability—that I never stopped to reflect on the impact it truly had on my mental health.
The combination of counseling and coaching helped structure it for me. It became my outlet, which is something that had neither been presented to me nor ever been addressed before in my life. The Golden Ticket no longer defined me.
Although I am not a medical doctor, therapist or psychiatrist, I highly encourage you to talk to someone who resonates with you. As corporate and industry leaders, we bring various baggage/trauma into our everyday lives, but resources are available to help us lead more fruitful lives. My personal and professional experiences help me guide others.
Please contact me at info@unconventionllc.com for more information on how coaching can help you. Share your story in the comments.
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